54 days to go! Not that I am counting....

I have less than two months left until Bean's EDD. In some ways, two months seems like a really long time, but when I think back to the end of January, when I first found out I was expecting, it seems like time is flying. I cant believe we will have him in our arms in approximately two months. Its a little surreal that we are going to be parents, permanently, forever, we will have this little man who needs our love and support. I can't wait. That being said, I am so over the third trimester. I dont feel like a lot of women do, at least not yet. I am not at that "get-this-thing-outta-me!" part, I dont feel that big even. I am just tired of being tired! I am continually light headed, dizzy and exhausted. Its hard to sleep because I have to sleep on my side and after 2-3 hours on each side I have to wake up to roll over. That part isnt so bad, I dont mind the waking up. Its the light headedness I can't handle. I hate it! When I wake up in the morning I want to hop out of bed and hit the ground running. I dont want to have to lay on the couch for an hour or more until it goes away. I recently started taking iron supplements due to low iron blood levels, and hopefully that will help. I know iron takes a while to build up in the system so it could be a while until I feel the effects of it. The other symptom I am sort of over is the back pain. I had back pain before the pregnancy, and its progressively gotten worse as the baby gets bigger. It eventually got to the point that it was a contributing factor to me quitting my job. Since I've quit though, I thought it was under control. That is, until yesterday when I went to the Denver Mint with a friend. We walked around for a couple of hours and I was hurting! Even just standing there for a bit while waiting to get in and while looking at the exhibits was bad. Its like a searing pain through my hips and low back. I dont know how to describe it. It makes me feel like a failure though. I feel like the fat kid in gym class, that everyone feels sorry for but is glad its not them. I dont know what to do about it. I guess I need to exercise more and lay around less. I am starting to worry about my ability to go through labor the way I want to. I would like this to be a natural, drug free experience and I've always thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance. Maybe I dont, maybe I've been deluding myself and I am a big weenie! Who knows? I guess we will see how it goes when I get there. Heres the latest belly pic (because everyone loves a mama belly)

Yeah, I took it myself so I look weird in it, but whatev. On a seperate note-did I mention I have the best hubby EVER? yep. I do. He's pretty awesome. This morning before work he emptied the litter box (seriously GROSS!), vacuumed, and got the trash out. He's awesome. He told me to take it easy today and he'd help with any other cleaning that needed to be done tonight when he gets off. Yes, thats right, he offered to come home and clean after working 10 hours. Like I said, he's pretty much awesome.

baby shower

We had our baby shower yesterday! It was at my mom's house in Colorado Springs and we did a Dr. Seuss themed shower. Instead of doing a cake, I made cupcakes for it with a Dr. Seuss theme, I did "Horton Hears a Who", "Green Eggs and Ham" and the fish from "Cat in the Hat" Heres pictures of them I had a lot of fun doing them!

cupcakes

We got some wonderful gifts, lots of clothes, bibs, socks and things like that. We also go a great Pack N Play, and baby monitors and lots of blankets. I have all of his blankets and things in the wash now, I cant wait to get his stuff all put away and finish getting ready for our little guy. We finally settled on a name (for the most part, you never know) Elijah James Robinson. Or Eli for short. Geoff had a good point on that actually. We were trying to find the "perfect" name, and I dont think we ever will find a name that embodies every trait we want in our son. However, as we get to know this little Bean and the name becomes his it will start to be the perfect name for him. And Elijah definitely has that potential. 

I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed with all of the preparation for his birth and for taking care of a child. We still need a stroller, swing and a few other miscellaneous things for him. Its stressful with me not working and all of that. Oh well, we have everything we need for him to be take care of, we have diapers, clothes, a car seat and crib. I love this little man and want us to be good parents for him. We finished the baptism classes and are getting excited for that part of it too. 

Beyond baptism classes, we have been taking birth classes too. Its nice to get a more clear vision of what I want for labor and delivery. We are considering having a doula (and good friend) of ours attend the birth in addition to my mom and of course Geoff. I am not sure whether or not we need a doula, but it could be a great support for me and Geoff, and having her there could be a good advocate for me too. We are going to look into it a little more and see what we think. Well thats all for now.

finished room

We finished Bean's room! Heres some pics...

it took several days and lots of time, but I am really happy with it. We thought long and hard about whether or not to paint it green or blue....but decided blue is more soothing. I love how it turned out. The furniture was a gift from Bean's grandparents. My parents bought the crib and Geoff's dad bought the changing table. The rocking chair was my mom's when she was pregnant with me and now its mine for Bean. We obviously still do not have a name for the little guy. We're considering Miles, Luke, Levi and some others. Its so hard because we want his name to be strong, and meaningful. I have this image of a sort of kind hearted, gentle leader and Geoff has more of a powerful doctor/lawyer persona in mind. I dont really care what he grows up to be, as long as he is a good person full of compassion and strength. Its so hard to pick a name too, knowing its so permanent. He will be saddled with it for the rest of his life, and we want it to be meaningful. At the same time, a persons name doesnt make them, they make their name. I am sure we will come to a conclusion at some point soon. I like names like Jackson and Bentley, but they are pretty unusual, and Jackson Robinson is pretty awful. I like names like John and Mathew, but I dont want to use a name that is too common or popular, and I dont want to use a name of someone who I dated at some point either which rules out Mark and Thomas. (as far as biblical names) anyway, we will decide at some point in the next 9 weeks or so. I hope he pretty much on time, I dont want him to come to early, but I'd rather not go to 41 or 42 weeks and be staring down and induction either. So thats where we are for now. 31 weeks down, 9ish to go. We started birth classes last week and its been fun and interesting to start to prepare for his arrival. I am sure over the next few weeks we will learn more and I will start to get more anxious, but right now it doesnt feel so real. I mean, I know he's coming as evidenced by the nursery we've spent the last week setting up but the reality of having a child has not set in yet. Will we be good parents? How will we know what to do? What if we do something wrong? What if I lose my temper with him? So many questions! I guess thats why we take it one day at a time and go from there. :o)

Beans room

School is almost over! We have three days left, well two after this class. I am typing this from the computer lab at school waiting for our Prof. to finish doing whatever he's doing with Youtube. I have one psych test, one pysch paper and my math final to finish up and I'm done. I am going to try to get most of that done tonight. Geoff and I went to Home Depot on Sunday to pick up some paint samples. The pictures didnt turn out so great, but I'll post them below. Its hard to pick colors, we dont have a bedding set to co-ordinate with and we're not planning on buying one. A lot of people are annoyed or surprised when I tell them this, but my thoughts on it are this: 1) The complete set will be on his bed once. After that I am sure he'll spit up or have a diaper blow out or something like that which requires me to change the crib sheet or something like that. 2) I am not planning on using bumper pads because they are no longer recommended the APA or my doctor. Good enough for me. I understand he can get his little arm or leg between the bars, but I'd rather that than risk suffocation. That being said, the risk of suffocation is very low (I think it was 27 deaths over the past 5 years?) but why risk it? 3) I dont want to tied to one theme. I want to be free to use rocket ships or robots or trucks or whatever strikes me as fitting the little guy. Anyway, I digress. My mom made us some adorable recieving blankets that I will post after she gives them to me at my shower (I've already seen them, but that way everyone can see them!) And they are mostly earthtones, lots of green, taupe, brown, blues and surprisingly-orange. I dont want to clash with that which is why we are leaning towards blue not green. And his crib is cherry and I like the brown and blue thing alot, although green and blue is pretty handsome too. I dont know-its a hard choice and I want the best for my son. I am having a lot more anxiety over this than I feel like I should-I mean its just paint right? That being said, I want it to look great and for us to be able to be proud of it. I can't wait to be done with school so I can focus on getting ready for Bean! We have our first birthing class tomorrow and I am excited about it, I think it'll make it seem more real. I am getting nervous/anxious about the whole thing which is weird for me. It doesnt seem real that in less than 3 months I'll have a little baby who depends on me for everything. What if I screw up? What if I'm a bad mom? What if I lose my temper? Oh man. I dont know if the break from school is gonna be beneficial or detremental to my mental health.... Anyway, enough rambling. Baby shower is next saturday (the 14th) and we should have his room done by then! I'll post pictures of it on facebook as we get stuff done.

http://www.behr.com/dsm-ext/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2e39ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD&vgnextfmt=default#vgnextoid=6bd8ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD;view=14;channel=EXPLORE

the green color...it looks better in person. "cornhusk"by Behr

the blue color called "serene sky by behr" http://www.behr.com/dsm-ext/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2e39ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD&vgnextfmt=default#vgnextoid=6bd8ea6621ca5110VgnVCM1000008119fea9RCRD;view=14;channel=EXPLORE