third trimester blahs

Hello all!
We are firmly in the third trimester, with only 80 days to go! I can't believe time is going so fast. My baby shower is scheduled for August 14 at my moms house, in Colorado Springs, which should be a blast. Beyond that, Bean and I are still trudging through school. I dont say "trudging" lightly, because that really is what it feels like. As much as I enjoy school and WANT to finish this program, he's just taking it out of me right now! I can barely function by the time class is over and spend the weekends lamenting how far behind I am in everything. Geoff keeps messing with me saying "well, its good the house is messy now, it'll give you something to do once I go back to school!" I am actually worried about what I am going to do with myself once he goes back to school and I am alone, at home, everyday. I'm gonna go insane. I need a hobby and fast. Maybe I'll go buy a scrapbook and actually make my wedding album I promised myself two years ago. Or maybe I'll start on Bean's baby book. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a library card and go the library every day and read a ton of books. I have to admit, I am a little afraid of having that kind of free time. Its been years since I've had time off like that, with no work or school to occupy myself with. I guess there is a difference in being alone and being lonely. As far as the star of this show goes, Bean is doing great. My gallbladder is still acting up and probably will continue to. If I stick to a very lowfat diet however, it seems to be more bearable. Bean is getting so big, I can actually see my stomach move on the outside now when he kicks. Geoff has been more to feel the little guy too. We do not have a name picked out for our little man yet, but have it narrowed down to either Eli(jah) James or Miles James. I dont know if it would be just "Eli" or "Elijah" but we'll see. I was really pulling for Elijah at first, but I have to admit, Miles is really growing on me. Surprisingly enough, my dad really likes it too. Not that its his choice, or that his opinion matters all that much, but its nice to know. The rest of the parents seem to be able to go either way on it. hmm Miles James Robinson. Say it aloud, it has a nice ring to it. Then again, so does Eli James Robinson.... haha.
On a school front, I have 2 weeks left, then Geoff and I have a week of vacation, then he has a week back at work before school starts August 23. Our week of vacation time is also going to be spent doing childbirth classes in the evening and baptism classes. We also will have time to get his room cleaned out, painted and crib set up. Anything beyond that might wait til he goes back to school so I have something to do with myself :o) Well thats all folks.

taking a leap of faith

I quit my job. Its been a long time coming and without getting into the gory details, I feel like it was the best thing for me and Bean. Its a scary position to be in, Bean is due in 13 weeks and I am now unemployed. On top of that, I am still in school right now and spent the weekend in the hospital because my gallbladder needs to come out. Its full of stones and sludge which sort of grosses me out. I have to follow a low fat diet in order to control the flare ups and hopefully that will buy us enough time to finish the pregnancy. My doctor is concerned about operating now because Bean is big enough to possibly be in the way, and if they accidentally ruptured the placenta or something like that, we would have to deliver him now. His chances of survival at this point are about 90% but he's very premature. I am not willing to do anything at this point to risk this pregnancy or my babies health. So a low fat diet it is. If it flares up badly again, we may still have to operate now, but we are gonna try and control it with diet and pain meds if necessary. I am worried about him though, I love this bean and want whats best for him. I want to go to at LEAST 38 weeks if possible, and would prefer to give him all the time he needs and let him decide when he's ready. Back to the job thing though, I have hated my boss for pretty much forever, and she has been less than helpful throughout this pregnancy. My back and hips have started having a lot of issues with the standing and lifting involved in the job, and I am exhausted all the time now. I am looking forward to more time with my hubby and time to get Bean's room ready before he gets here. However, I am extremely concerned about money. My parents have decided to bless us with financial help until January to keep us on our feet. I am struggling with feeling worthless and lazy because I dont have a job, and I feel like I should be able to do it all. I also feel like a problem because I have had more than my share of medical issues this year, with my back going out in February and now this. Geoff is never sick or injured. Not that I want him to be, its just frustrating that I am such a loser. On that note, he has been beyond amazing. He's been supportive, kind and patient with me and all that we've been going through. I  know how much I loved him when we got married, but it pales in comparison to how deeply I love him now. I cant wait to be the mother of his child and give him the gift of a healthy son. He's gonna be an amazing father and is already an amazing husband. We bought Beans carseat this weekend too and got a great deal on it! It was on sale, and Geoff's dad had given us a $50 gift card to Babies R Us so we ended up paying only $60 for a $150 carseat. Now I am praying for peace and trust to be comfortable with my decision and hoping I am not a fool for walking away from my job. I was so excited when I started there, and I am equally relieved to have the opportunity to walk away now. Sigh. Bed time I guess.