Oliver's Birth

Long time no post. We have been busy here in the Robinson house! Eli is 7 and in first grade at the school where I teach (we are a K-12 school) and Maddie just turned 3 and goes to a fantastic in-home daycare while I work. Geoff is still at Wal-mart and I am over halfway through my 6th year teaching.

So to back up regarding Ollie, this summer I told Geoff if we were on the fence about a 3rd child we needed to decide because I am getting old! I turned 31 in November and always wanted to be done by 30. Lo and behold, I was pregnant the next month. This was a total shock considering the hoops we jumped through to conceive Maddie. My original due date based on my cycle was January 27. We were feeling optimistic about this, but realized I was probably going to have to go back to work at some point just because the financial impact of maternity leave on a teacher is harsh. An early ultrasound confirmed the pregnancy, but put my due date at February 6 instead. I was worried about him being due so close to Mads's birthday, but what could I do at that point? The pregnancy was mostly fine, I had my fair share of "morning sickness" including some highly embarrassing episodes at work where my assistant principal had to come cover my classes so I could barf. Fun. At Ollie's 20 week ultrasound we confirmed what I suspected, we were having another little boy! We also got the news that he had some soft markers for Downs Syndrome, especially around his heart. I was fairly worried but a follow up ultrasound dispelled our worries.  Eli had been hoping and wishing for a brother, and Maddie didn't care too much, so I am glad it worked out the way it did. Coincidentally, we had our ultrasound right before Eli's 7th birthday and he requested that we do the gender reveal at his party. It was fun to announce it to our family and friends that we were expecting another sweet son. The rest of the pregnancy was fine, I had a better time physically this time than I did with the other two. I think it is because I was in much better shape this go around than last time, so my back pain and whatnot was much easier to deal with.
Fast forward to 38 weeks, and we had a scare where I wasn't feeling much movement. A frantic call to a friend to come sit with Mads and Eli and we headed to L&D to do a non-stress test. $600 deductible later and he was fine. My last day of work was scheduled for February 2, based on my due date of Feb 6. I came into work on January 30 and my sweet advising kids had planned a surprise baby shower for me. They had balloons and cupcakes and gifts. I appreciate their caring so much, they are an incredible group of kids and I am lucky to get to know them!

My due date came and went, and no baby! One of the midwives I see recommended an extra ultrasound a non-stress test the following week to make sure everything is OK. I agreed and went home to wait til 41 weeks. I woke up on Friday (Feb 9) just exhausted. I was so tired that day and even ordered pizza for the kids for lunch so I didn't have to get up and make them food. I think my body was trying to conserve energy for the next day. There was a lot of drama and headache surrounding the fact that he was 4 days overdue. No one anticipated his later arrival and we were stressing over when and how to get everyone here. My mom generously offered to drive up Thursday night or Friday night and spend the night in a hotel so she could be here just in case, but at that point I just wanted to be left alone to focus through the next few days. I am apparently a high strung person, because with all three kids I could not go into labor until I was left alone and in a quiet space, usually in the middle of the night! I was really worried about the kids' birthdays being so close together, but I think as long as we make sure there is time and attention for both, they will be fine. 

I woke up at 1:30 am that night with intense back labor. I tried to doze between contractions because I was still incredibly fatigued. Finally at 3 I couldn't stand it anymore and got up to pace the living room and time the contractions. I got Geoff up at around 4 because my contractions were coming every 2-10 minutes, I was in searing pain. We called my parents and sister who were coming up to sit with the other kids. by 4:30 we didn't think we could wait any longer because I was in agony and the contractions were coming so fast. Our friend Lori came to sit with the kids while my family made their way north through a crazy snow storm. Geoff and I left for the hospital at 5 and got there at 5:30. It took a while for them to admit us so I labored around the waiting room. Once we finally got upstairs and admitted, we had a visit from the on call OBGYN, standard policy for a VBAC. She kindly and factually explained the risks of a TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean) and wished us the best. She was really nice to work with, because the doctor we had used with Maddie was very fear-mongering and basically treated me like a fool for wanting a VBAC and acted like I was going to kill my baby. This doctor was kind and supportive and really wanted me to be successful! 

Shift change is at 7am, and here came my favorite midwife, the same one who delivered Mads! Marie is one of those people I can see wearing a flower crown and delivering babies in a field somewhere. I dont think she could be anything BUT a midwife, she is just so well suited to her profession. She also had a student with her who is finishing her clinicals, her name is Tess. Tess was a huge help during labor, providing pain relief measures outside of an epidural and generally was supportive of my goals. Tess asked if she could check me, and I consented, reluctantly. I was surprised to hear I was at a 6! I labored for a while with the help of the midwives, the amazing nurse, Angie, and my husband. Angie spent several hours following me around, sitting on the floor, and doing whatever she needed to get a steady read on the baby. Unfortunately this was not enough for us to keep a lead on him. I had to get in bed and lay still to find his heart beat for at least 20 minutes. This was really hard on me because I was needing to move and have counter pressure for each contraction. I was getting frustrated because back labor is painful and I had to keep stopping to let them get the heart beat again. Tess suggested that we try a TENS unit for a while and I was surprised how much it helped. I started to find myself caught in the fear-tension-pain cycle though as labor continued to ramp up, because I remember how terrifying and painful back labor could be After several hours of this my labor was starting to fizzle. For some reason I was still incredibly tired, like could not hold my eyes open. I got in the tub for a while and then agreed to letting them break my water and put an internal monitor on Ollie so I could labor freely. Tess tried to check me again and I could not tolerate being on my back. Geoff and I discussed an epidural at this point because I was so tired. We decided to proceed because my labor was stalling, I was exhausted, and I was getting really frustrated with the continuous monitoring putting me back in bed and unable to cope with the intensity of yet another back labor. We got the epidural around 3pm. Of course the epidural added to the cycle of labor stalling, so they broke my water, put a lead on the baby and let me rest for a bit. I had a pretty good epidural placement, but due to a prior injury, I had a pretty big window on my lower back that didn't take. 

At this point I was an emotional wreck. I was so tired, and so anxious about getting him here, I was just bawling. My midwife stopped by to check on me again and sat with me for a while, reassuring me that I was doing good work and that he'd be here soon. I dozed for a bit between contractions and by 5pm my labor was almost stopped. They gave me a tiny bit of pitocin to help labor pick back up, and by 7pm I was ready to push. My epidural was still there, in the sense I did not have full sensation on my legs, but I had good leg control and definitely understand the reference to the "ring of fire". I was still feeling really emotional, frustrated that labor had stalled, and I felt like I had failed because I got an epidural, my goal was always a "natural" birth. I was weepy and swinging wildly from making jokes to sobbing. By 7pm, I was hell bent on getting Oliver here at that point and pushed like my life depended on it. 4-5 really good pushes later, and he was here! He cried right away and they set him on my chest to let the cord stop pulsing. He settled down right away and cuddled into mama. Then he peed on me, followed by his first poop. Lucky mama. All 7lbs 10 oz and 20" of baby was here. 

My mom and dad were able to bring Eli and Mads up to meet their little brother right away. Eli had asked for us to take a picture of the placenta, and we did. Even better though, the nurse heard us talking about it and saved it for him in a tub! Gross, but cool! Maddie and Eli both got to listen to his heart and help weigh and measure him.

He slept well our first night there, and the second. We wanted to go home after 24 hours, but because he was born at 7:16pm, they had to keep us a second night. He passed his hearing check, we got some help in the pumping department, because I am really worried about going back to work and having to pump for him. The pediatrician came by that morning, and weighed and looked over Ollie again. At that time he was already back up to 7lb 8oz, and nursing like a champ. We came home on Maddie's 3rd birthday, thankfully I was able to order a cake on the phone from the hospital and Geoff and my mom went to pick it up. My mom and sister bought a cute table cloth and put a banner for Maddie's birthday, and helped to make it a special day for her.

Overall I feel OK about his birth. I feel like VBACing still doesn't have the full support it could, but it went much better than the fight we had to do Maddie's birth that way! I feel like I could've done it without the drugs this time if I had been left alone, the constant monitoring made it really hard to get in the head space I needed to have a successful med free birth. I think we made the right choice in getting the epidural when we did, considering how things were going and how incredibly tired I was at that point. At any rate, I am really glad he is here and he is so loved by everyone in this family!!