6 months old

My little man is 6 months, 2 weeks old. I can not believe how fast the time is going! At his 6 month check up he was 13lbs 11oz, which puts him in the 5th %ile. and 25.5" long, which puts him in the 10th%ile. He's longish and skinny. I have to take him back to the doctor for a weight check up in a month, just to be sure he's gaining appropriately. The doctor didnt seem worried because he'd had a bout of diarrhea earlier this month, and that could have affected his weight too. Other than that, he's developing right on schedule! He is rolling easily from front to back and back to front, and can rotate himself  180 degrees on the floor to reach for toys. He is not crawling yet, but can push himself up on his hands and knees for a minute or two if he wants. Most importantly, he's been sleeping in his own bed for most (or part) of the night for almost 2 weeks! The first night was super hard, he cried and cried and cried. We kept checking on him, trying to convince him he's OK in there alone. After 1.5 hours, he fell fast asleep and I broke down. I was so afraid he'd hate me forever and he fell asleep because I thought I abandoned him. When he woke up 2 hours later, he fussed for me and as soon as I leaned over his crib, he gave me the biggest smile ever. I guess he didnt think I left him after all. Now its super cute, if he starts crying and is not in the need for a feeding, as soon as we pick up his paci, he rolls over onto his side and opens his mouth. He is getting really, really good at sleeping in his crib. He is still up a few times a night for feedings, but given his lower weight, I dont mind. If I am completely honest I love night time feedings sometimes and am going to sad when he doesnt need them anymore. There is nothing better than baby cuddles at night. 

We've started feeding him some solids now too, which he has started to enjoy. I was hesitant to start solids with him because i dont want him to not get the milk he needs, but he's been showing interest. So far he's had; mangos (loves), avacado (loves), bananas (meh) apples (hates) pears (hates) carrots (meh), sweet potatoes (meh) peas (loves). I have made all of his baby food for the most part, and I love cooking for him. Even if its steaming a bag of frozen peas and pureeing, straining and re freezing them for him. I like knowing that I am making his food so I can control what goes into it, how fresh it is, how it tastes and what the texture is like! Some days for lunch, I'll steam a whole sweet potato and we'll share :o) Thats always nice.

In other news, Geoff is doing great at work and recently got a nice bonus and a raise after an awesome evaluation at work! He's putting school on hold for now to focus on Eli and I and work. He's still involved with the sheriffs office for now.

For me, I am taking the CLEP exam in a week, which I need for graduate school. Next I have to take the PLACE/PRAXIS exam before student teaching in the fall. I am registered for my practicum, which is 2 days of class work in an elementary school to total up to 180 hours or so? I dont remember off the top of my head.  I'm looking forward to going back to school, but obviously concerned about leaving Eli. I need to start daycare shopping as well. I am also trying to convince Geoff to move back to Colorado Springs. He could transfer to UCCS and I could student teach down there in the spring. I miss my family and we've been spending lots of time with them, which has made me realize how difficult it is to be here alone. My mom and dad adore Eli, and I want him to know his aunts and cousins. Geoff's dad has been super involved too and I love how much he loves his grandson. I want Eli to know his grandparents and be comfortable with them. 

Well thats it for the Robinson family for now!

5 months!

My little monkey is 5 months old! I cant believe it, its going by so fast. Everyone said it would, but wow. First, here is what Eli is doing now! He can roll from back to front and front to back. He prefers to be on his back though, and although he *can* roll from back to front, he rarely does. He can hold his weight on his legs, and has been since he was 1-2 months old. I am wondering if he will skip crawling and go straight to walking? He is putting everything he can reach in his mouth. Including daddy's name tag, jump drive, pens, etc. haha. Geoff has to be careful holding him after work until he changes out of his work clothes! Eli is also sitting for a few seconds at a time. I think he could sit longer, but he really prefers to stand. He tries to stand up in his bumbo seat all the time and I am afraid he is going to flip himself out of it one day! He has also started making new noises! Its somewhere between incredibly cute and slightly annoying. He grumbles, mumbles, coos and babbles constantly. The annoying part is he can also shriek like a baby pterodactyl. Its the shrillest, loudest, most ear peircing thing I have ever heard!!! There is no doubt he wants something when he does it. And he does it a lot, like in church :o) lol.

As far as eating and sleeping...he is still breast fed exclusively. Our doc gave us the go ahead for solids at 4 months, which surprised me because the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting til 6 months. A lot of people have suggested starting solids sooner because it will help him sleep longer. I dont buy it. I want to wait til I know for sure he's ready, and solids before a year are just for flavor anyway 95%+ of their nutrition is supposed to come from breastmilk or formula. He's had a few bites of applesauce and bananas, he mostly shutters, gags and makes faces at it. Overall, I dont think hes that ready.
And for sleeping. We tried the no cry sleep solution for two weeks solid. And it was 14 nights of hell. I can honestly say that was the most sleep deprived, most exhausted I have been since he was born. He would take over 45 minutes to rock to sleep, and then he would wake up over and over. I would go in and have to rock him back to sleep 5 or 6 times between 8 an 10. He never slept more than 2-3 hours. So, for now, hes back in bed with me. We did go out and get a king size bed though :o)
I know my last post said it was going ok, but after that night he was in bed with me, I spent 2 nights at my parents house and he coslept the entire time. He even slept for 5 hours one night!! Our goal of sleep training was for everyone to get more sleep. With the crib thing, we werent. So hes back in our bed. And for now, its working great.

Back to him being fussy, we ordered the The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting Your High Needs Child by Dr. Sears. And in it he highlights 12 features of a high needs baby. Eli is 11.5 out of 12! I guess its good to know we're not alone, we're not doing anything wrong, and its OK for him to be that way. I have had a lot of anxiety and frustration over Eli's neediness. Now I guess I feel relief that its just his personality and its our job to help him learn how to use it to his benefit. Of course we want him to grow up to a likable, successful, productive person. Its hard to because its easy to become apologetic about his needs. Or to compare him to other babies, he doesnt sleep as much, or he's not content on the floor alone, or whatever but thats not fair to him. People usually think I am grossly over exaggerating when I say he's high needs or demanding...until they witness it! hahahaha lol Anyway, its good to know that our little man is just who he is, and there is nothing we can do but love him :o) Which I knew anyway, but its good to reminded of it!

day 10

Its been 10 days (i think?) since we started the no-cry sleep solution.
So far, its been OK. I liked co-sleeping a lot, but as I said in a previous post he's been up every 45 minutes or so at night, I think I was keeping him up. Anyway, our schedule usually looks like this:
7pm-bath time, massage, lotion, jammies
7:30-8pm-story time and nurse
8-8:30-he gets laid down in bed.
I usually have to go back in there 3 or 4 times before 9:30 or 10 (sometimes 10:30) before he's really out for the night and I can go to bed. On a good night, he will sleep from 10ish to 1, which is an amazing improvement from what he was doing. I feed him again at 1 and put him back down, and he usually goes back down easily. He usually gets up again between 4-5 and then up every hour til 8ish. Its frustrating that he wont sleep longer than 11-1 at a time, but its a start. He seems like his crib OK and he just needs an occasional reassurance from mom. We started turning on a box fan up in his room too, and that seems to help him sleep longer. The last two nights have been rough though because I think his tummy has been hurting him. He finally pooped today after crying a lot of the night last night. Last night he slept with me, because he was so fussy. He didn't want to be put down at all. So we were up most of the night. I hope this doesn't ruin the progress we've made. I think its more important to respond to his needs than stick to some arbitrary schedule for our convenience.

We've also been working on nap time. I am trying to encourage him to nap at least 2x a day, for more than an hour. He seems to like to cat nap for 45 minutes at a time. So if its been less than an hour I try to rock him back to sleep and give him his paci. Surprisingly, he's been going back down pretty easily!! I often lay him on the couch next to me, or in his swing, but I think we need to get him in his crib for nap time too though because he's a pretty light sleeper.

Anway, enough about sleep. I just wanted to say I am relieved, and somewhat surprised that the no-cry sleep solution is working. Minimal tears, and I feel comfortable not leaving him alone to cry it out. Its a win-win, its just time consuming.

On a more positive note, Eli has changed so much. He is laughing, smiling, cooing, reaching for toys and chewing on everything he can get his hands on!
His laugh lights up the room and warms my soul. It makes it so worth it to be up with him night after night, and then I go in to his room to pick him up and the morning and he starts cooing and laughing because he's so glad to see me. He is a total mamas boy too and fusses when daddy tries to hold him. I want him to learn its OK to let other people take care of him sometimes. He has been more content for longer periods of time playing alone. I like to watch him play with his toys, he gets so serious as he grabs them and looks them over and the chomps down on them. I think he's getting close to giving up the paci, he often gets it in his hands and chews on it, but usually gets so mad if he wakes up fussing and I stick it in his mouth. He is an awesome little dude. The ped gave me the go ahead to start solids at 4 mo, but I dont think hes ready. He's not sitting up on his own, he hasnt doubled his birth weight, and he shows no interest in our plates when we are eating at the table. I have been looking into baby led weaning and I like a lot of what it says there. I am in no rush to start solids with him because a lot of studies have shown that early introduction of solids leads to increased risk of food allergies, obesity, early weaning etc. Breast milk is amazing too, I didnt know how much it changes to suit his needs as he grows. It has everything he really needs in it until he's a year old. I just dont want to rush him if he's not ready. At his four month check up he was at 12lbs 6 oz, and 25 inches long. That puts him in the 10th% for weight and the 65th% for height. Hes a banana shaped baby! I love that Monkey.

Anyway, thats pretty much it for us right now.
Heres a video of Eli talking 

no cry sleep solution?? Yes please!

I. Am. Tired. Eli's sleep habits have gone from bad to worse. When I was pregnant I was excited to meet this little boy. I lovingly set up his crib, washed his crib sheets, obsessed over whether or not go get bumpers (SIDS risk?) and changed the sheet on his bed 3 or 4 times before he ever arrived. Once he got here, he did not want to sleep anywhere except our arms, and I was OK with that. He spent most of the time in the hospital in our arms. I remember sitting in the hospital bed and his pediatrician telling me how important it was that Eli had his own sleep space, and never, ever bring him to our bed...hahaha I remember telling my mom, in panicked tears that I couldnt possibly take him home and leave this tiny little man alone in his big, empty, lonely crib!!
My mom laughed at me, and went out and bought an Arm's reach co-sleeper. I have to say, for the first 2-3 months, it was AWESOME! I would sit up in bed, nurse him and lay my sleepy boy back in his bed, right next to me! It was bliss! (cue the Jaws music) Until he hit about 3 months or so. Then he started refusing to go back to sleep in his bed. He'd scream and scream and thrash about until I picked him up and tucked him into bed with me. Ok..I can handle this. I love co-sleeping! I love having this tiny little guy curled up with me at night!! Then he started waking up every 45 minutes or less. Great, now no one is sleeping. Geoff has set up camp on the couch and is not coming back to bed til we figure something else out.
I am frustrated. I am angry. I am TIRED. I want to co sleep. I want to have Eli next to me at night, nursing on demand and sleeping blissfully. I remember telling my mom (who warned me to lay Eli down as a newborn to sleep...) "I waited 9 months to hold him! I'm not putting him down now!" *palm to forehead*
So, after asking Eli's ped. if there could possibly be anything medically wrong with our sweet, precious, screaming terror of a child (its like magic, cue bed time and he's a screaming, thrashing, back-arching, inconsolable terror!!) Theres not. He is just a strong willed child. So Geoff and I went out and bought The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Basically she has four parts to her method.
1) Routine, routine, routine. Both nap and night time sleep needs a routine and schedule. Not rigid, but baby needs to know what comes next
2) watch your child for the first sign of sleepiness and spring #1 into action
3) introduce a lovey, this comfort item will (hopefully) help soothe them back to sleep in your absence
4) stick to your plan, it may take a week of soothing them back to bed every hour but stick with it for 10 days and re-evaluate.

Our plan is to transition him to his crib starting tonight. I hate this idea, but last night he was screaming his head off, he wouldnt nurse and was crying because he was sooo tired. Out of frustration and (I'm ashamed to admit) anger, I pushed him into his co-sleeper, stuck his paci in his screaming mouth and left the room. I came out and cried in Geoff's arms for a minute and then realized silence was coming from the bedroom...Eli was out! Magic! No crying! No bouncing, rocking, shhing, walking, nursing, wash rinse repeat. He just needed me to leave him along long enough to sleep. Geoff and I sat up for an hour talking and Eli slept the whole time. Once I (carefully) crawled back into bed and started to doze off...yep. He woke up. And woke up almost every hour for the rest of the night. I think I am waking him up everytime I shift, move, snore etc. He wakes me up everytime he stretches, fusses, moves. So we wind each other up. Not good. I thought about transitioning him back to the co-sleeper, but he's starting to outgrow it, and I dont think my night time shifting would stop bothering him. I want to go through this once. So I write this blog post out of frustration, exhaustion and a sense of disappointment. I desperately wanted to attachment parent. I really want my baby boy close by at night. But I also want to sleep in order to be a good mama. Another AP thing that does not work for us, is babywearing at home. He LOVES being worn out and about, but HATES it at home. He gets bored, frustrated and tired. So I fail on 2/7 "rules" of APing...ah well. I think in the end, attachment parenting is about parenting in the most sensitive, positive way for YOUR child. My child is a light sleeper, and stubborn. If he knows I am right there, he wants me. He wants to coo, play and nurse all night long and he gets mad at me for his being tired. So, starting tonight...he will sleep in his crib. I hope.
ETA: the book does include a section for cosleeping, breastfeeding mamas. She recommends not reacting to his every noise, which I dont. She recommends pushing him away a bit, which I do. Neither works for him. So the crib it is. For now, he naps in his swing, but we may work on that too at some point....we'll see.

Eli is almost 4 months old!

Eli will be four months old tomorrow! I cant believe how fast its gone, he changes so much everyday. This week he has started showing a keen interest in his toys, and has started grabbing them and putting them in his mouth. This is pretty much right on target from the sheet the pediatrician gave us with milestones etc. Its funny to watch him reach for a toy and get so excited when he gets it in his mouth! He has his 4 month well child check/immunizations this next week, and I am kind of looking forward to it because I'm always curious to see what he weighs and how long he is. I hate to see him in pain from the immunizations, but after much research, feel its the best thing we can do to protect him from potentially deadly diseases. I know vaccines are a hot topic for some people, but I remember seeing my nephew (Alex, Carlo and Jen's little guy) in the hospital with RSV and it being the saddest, scariest thing ever. I know RSV is not something you can vaccinate against, but it struck me that there are diseases that can be prevented with a simple vaccine. Anyway *steps off soapbox*.
I am also looking forward to asking his pediatrician about sleep. Oh where do I begin? Eli has never been a great sleeper. He hates being put down when he's asleep or being forced to sleep alone, so I usually just put him in bed with me. However, he has been going through screaming fits at night off and on for the past month. I dont know what to do. We tried moving his bed time back to 7:30-8 and implemented a strict bedtime routine. At 7 he gets a bath, lotion, fresh diaper, nurses, story and bed. He sometimes goes down without a fuss, but almost always wakes up within 30-45 minutes and needs to be resoothed. He usually wakes up again at 11 and needs to be resoothed. If he goes back down ok after those two wakings, he wakes up to eat at 1-2. The rest of  the night is a crap shoot. I always leave him in bed with me after that, because he freaks out if I lay him back in his cosleeper. He usually eats again at 4, 6 and 9. With a diaper change in the middle of that. I struggle with the co sleeping thing, because I dont always sleep as well with him in bed with me because I am a stomach sleeper. Also, I struggle with the whole "never put them in bed with you, you're spoiling them and its dangerous" thing. Geoff has thrown in the towel and started sleeping on the couch, partly because of Eli and mostly because he likes to watch TV at night and I dont. Nap time is not much better. He likes to cat nap during the day, 30 mins or so at a time, so he's awake and happy for a short amount of time and then crabby because he's tired. Everyone keeps telling me, this too shall pass...All I can say is I hope they are right.

On a more positive note, he is giggling, smiling, laughing, and drooling like a crazy man! Here is a video of him giggling. He is more awesome than I ever could have imagined. I cant wait to see how this tiny person grows and changes everyday.

things that surprised me...

I did my best to prepare myself for having a baby, and I did my best to listen to advice from those who came before me, but there are still some things that surprised me!
1) I was adamant about Eli NOT having a pacifier until he was 12 weeks, in order to establish breastfeeding...well in the hospital he had an instatiable need to suck! We asked the nurse about it, and she told us to try it for a day and see how it went! Success!!
2) I am glad we didnt wait to introduce the paci, because at 3 months old he hardly will take it now!! We just went out and bought a MAM brand, a NUK and he has a soothie, and he hardly will take any of them! He gags on the NUK, and we are still not sure about the MAM. I wish he would take one of them though, because....
3) he HATES the car. I always assumed babies loved the car, it was supposed to lull them to sleep blah blah blah...it was even recommended to us to put him in the car if he's fussy and drive him to sleep. Not. Gonna. Happen.
4) The witching hour SUCKS! I hadnt experienced this before Eli, but from about 7 or 8 weeks until he was 12 weeks or so, he would scream his head off from around 4-8pm everyday. It didnt seem to matter what we did, he was inconsolable. Geoff and I would tag team back and forth because it would get so frustrating!!! He's outgrown it  now, thankfully!
5) Sleep-He is awake a lot at night! Sometimes he wants to nurse every 1 1/2-2 hours...its frustrating for my sleep to be so broken up, but it doesnt seem to bother him! On the flip side of that, he sleeps a lot some days, but I am never sure how long he'll sleep so I dont know if its worth it to try and squeeze in a nap, or just unload the dishwasher?
6) how much I love baby-wearingng/cloth diapering/co-sleeping. I hesitate to label myself as practicing attachment parenting, but we closely align with that method of parenting :o) I have a moby wrap which I LOVED when he was little and squishy, but then I got a beco carrier and a maya wrap and I love them too! I like the beco for long trips, or if I am standing stationary for a long time, like grocery shopping or church. I like the maya wrap around the house or for quick trips to the store, etc. The maya is smaller and easy to slip on and off, so its great for the diaper bag! He easily falls asleep in it too, which is awesome for me
7) Cloth-I wanted to cloth diaper from the beginning and Geoff was adamantly against it. It was one thing that I wanted but I wasnt going to push too hard because there were other things that mattered more to me. But, when Eli turned 3 weeks old, Geoff was surprised by how much waste diapers generated and by how quickly our stash of disposables was dwindling! We never bought diapers, thankfully because a lot of people gave us them as a gift. We went through them so fast though! Anyway, one night when Eli was about 3 weeks old Geoff just decided he wanted to try cloth. We were scheduled to go down to the Springs for my best friends bridal shower so we stopped by a local cloth diaper store  and got set up with 24 prefolds, a snappi,  4 Thirsties Duo Covers and a wet bag. We agreed to try it for a week and see if we liked it. Geoff agreed to do the laundry and we never looked back. I am always surprised when he speaks up, even as he is doing the laundry and says he is so glad we switched. Its not as big of a deal as I thought it would be, even when we take trips down to the springs, we just use a large zip bag and wash when we get home!
8) co-sleeping...I know a lot of people are anti co sleeping...but in the hospital Eli wouldnt sleep except with me. I remember crying and telling my mom I dont think I can come home and put him in the crib! She agreed and went out and bought me an arms reach co sleeper. He sleeps in that most of the night, but at around 5 am he starts wanting to cluster feed again so I put him next to me in bed and we cuddle. I love having him in there and am not sure what to do once he outgrows the co sleeper...
9) breastfeeding. I hated it at first. It hurt, he wouldnt latch on the left side at all and I was scared to death he would starve :o) Now I love it. I am surprised by how much I love it. I cant imagine mixing him a bottle of man-made formula when my body is so capable of taking care of him. Not that there is anything wrong with formula, nor am I passing judgement on formula feeding moms. I just love how perfect breastfeeding is for us. I understand how hard it is for women to breast feed and why only 20% or so of women are still breastfeeding at 6 months. I remember my mom telling me that its ok if it doesnt work out, I dont have to breast feed. I was hell bent on doing it though, no matter what, and I am glad I did!
10) number 10 is how rewarding being a mom is. I heard a mix of either 1) enjoy your freedom now while you can because you wont get to do anything for the next 18 years! or 2) being a mom is awesome. For me both are true! haha. I am putting off school at the moment and hoping to go back in the fall, and finish up. No one told me how amazing being a mom is. I dont think anyone can tell you or prepare you for how amazing this little person can be. He is laughing, smiling and cooing and his giggles melt my heart. Especially at 2am! haha!

just a quick catch-up

I've not blogged in a while because, as I said in my last post, we've been super busy! Heres some pictures of the past few weekends!

Tina's wedding cake

This is the wedding cake I did for my best friend (since kindergarten!) She got married December 18, 2010. Her ceremony was beautiful and I wish her all the happiness in the world! She deserves it!















The next weekend was Christmas and we spent it with my family, mostly but did stop and see Geoff's family too.

At my mom's Christmas day

It was really nice for us to get to spend time with family for Christmas. Things are lean this year, so there wasnt much in the way of presents exchanged but it was awesome to spend the holidays with people we love and who love Eli. It touches my heart to see how much our families love my son. I love him, and of course I want everyone else to love him but its an honor to me to share him with our parents. I did not grow up with grandparents in the traditional sense, so its very important to me for Eli to have a close relationship with our parents. My parents and Geoff's dad have made an immense effort to be a part of his life as much as possible, and I thank them for that.

Four generations of Robinson men

This weekend was New Years, and Geoffs grandparents drove out from Missouri to meet Eli. They hadn't been able to get out here before now, and were very anxious to meet him. Geoff's grandma (Eli's GREAT-grandma!) was beside herself with joy and excitement to meet the little guy. I was so excited to see them so excited :o) I love that they care so much about my son! It was wonderful to spend a few days with Geoff's dad, Dawn, Laura, and his grandparents. We got to eat good food, hang out and open presents. Geoff's dad got me a Maya Wrap for Christmas and I LOVE it! Eli likes it too, he usually conks right out when I get him in it. I dont have any pictures of it...but I think his dad does so I will have to ask him for one! In addition to showering Eli and Geoff and I with love, I have felt a lot of acceptance and understanding from his family about breastfeeding. I am sure its slightly uncomfortable for his dad so be in the room or at least next to me when I nurse, but he has never said a word against it. Its been an internal battle for me too, do I use the cover to avoid his (or anyone elses) discomfort? Or do I go with what I feel is right and nurse my son, discretely but openly in the same room as everyone else is? In the end I went with my gut and didnt have any problems. As long as I am attentive to Eli's cues and offer him the boob as soon as he starts showing interest, he latches right on and we dont have any problems! I can sit in the living room with everyone else and still feed my son. A shout out to all the ladies who have come before me to make breastfeeding more socially acceptable and who have given me the confidence to nurse in public!!

Well thats pretty much all thats been going on here in the past month or so. I just wanted to post a quick update :o)